The Modern Girl's Bachelorette Pad

In the 1960’s, Playboy magazine introduced the world to the quintessential “bachelor pad”, stating, “A man yearns for quarters of his own. More than a place to hang his hat, a man dreams of his own domain, a place that is exclusively his.” Originally coined by the Chicago Tribune, the term gained traction thanks to early editions of Playboy, who’s target demographic was the young, urban man with an appreciation for sleek design and contemporary style.

The quintessential Playboy bachelor pad of the 1960s

Synonymous with independence and sophistication, the bachelor pad sold an enviable vision focused on penthouse living, with top-of-the-line gadgets and masculine interiors of elevated design. While most men were on the fast track to the suburbs with a new wife in tow, the Playboy bachelor was transcending to a higher social status and looking damn good while doing it.

Even with this aspirational branding, the bachelor pad has never been able to completely shed its more unsavory connotations. Take Catcher Block’s women-snaring apartment in Down with Love, "fully loaded with every gadget and contraption to snare a woman." On the other end of the spectrum is the bachelor pad of today’s society which completely disregards the original vision, tending towards an utter lack of design and polish. (Think mattress on the floor, milk crate for a coffee table, you get the gist.)

Despite all that, the basic goal of the bachelor pad remains the same - a place where a man answers to no one but himself, from the furniture he chooses to the dirty laundry he kicks into the corner day after day. But the single man is no longer the only prospective tenant on the market. Enter the Single Girl; She’s driven, she’s independent, and she deserves a sophisticated space all her own, just like any man. She deserves a bachelorette pad.

Even in the age where single female homeownership outpaces that of single men, the term ‘bachelorette pad’ is not commonly used, nor is it seen as symbol of heightened status. Rather, the idea of single girl apartment is often viewed as a stepping stone towards their role as wife/mother/captain of the domestic sphere or worse, the first phase of pitiful spinsterhood.

But recent generations are waiting longer to get married and start families, leaving a huge demographic of single women who have the desire and the means to live on their own. Like the bachelor pad of the sixties, the bachelorette pad for the modern woman can be seen as an empowering display of independence, style and in some cases, financial security. From Mary Richard’s Minneapolis studio to Carrie Bradshaw’s West Village apartment, these feminine spaces offer an aspirational model for adult living. This is where a woman answers to no one but herself.

Mary Richard's bachelorette pad in the Mary Tyler Moore Show

When it came time for me to move out of my father’s house, I’ll be honest, giving the patriarchy the middle finger wasn’t exactly top of mind. I was going to have a hard enough time finding an apartment I could afford, let alone bask in the glory of my newfound ‘financial independence”. But after years of living with roommates, cleaning up messes that weren’t mine and feeling confined to a single bedroom, I just wanted a place to call my own, even if that place was only a few hundred square feet.

That being said, having roommates is an important rite of passage; you learn a lot about yourself when forced into close quarters with other people. You pick up important interpersonal skills, learn how to live and work cohesively with others, all of which will benefit you in other aspects of life, from your professional career to the relationships you foster with significant others.

On the flip side, living on your own offers its own lessons, the kind of problem solving you can only learn when it’s 11pm and your toilet won’t. stop. running. You can spend your whole life living in the company of others and never experience the invigorating freedom or harsh realities of not having another person to shoulder the responsibility. It teaches you the depth of your own resilience and the art of appreciating your own company.

For all that I wanted to live alone, I knew that I might need to find a roommate to survive living in one of the most expensive counties in Washington state. I definitely had my work cut out for me, especially considering my non-negotiables. 1) I needed a second-floor unit or higher since I refused to live on the ground floor all by myself and 2) I needed to be within a reasonable driving distance to work. While these criteria narrowed my pool of options, I somehow managed to find an apartment that fit the bill within my price range. Would it be a tight budget? Yes. Was the neighborhood a tad sketchy and did the apartment have lingering tenants of the insect variety? Yes, and most unfortunately, yes. But for all its flaws, it was, most importantly, mine.

There was a part of me that worried I would get lonely. After all, I had never experienced living completely by myself. It had always been comforting knowing someone was sleeping right down the hall, or that a trip to the kitchen could turn into hours long chats over glasses of wine. Would I be missing those moments of human interaction and connectivity?

In some ways I did miss it, but the peace I felt at having a space that I could call my own and maintain to my own standards outweighed the loneliness that can sometimes creep in. I’m lucky enough to have loved ones close by, meaning that a wine night with friends or dinner with family is only a short drive away. And at the end of the day, I can retreat to my apartment and recharge my social battery in peace.

In the days when I was living with roommates, I often felt confined to my room. While I was always free to use the common areas, I usually opted to watch TV or work in my own bedroom so as not to disturb or be disturbed by others. This meant that my bed functioned as a couch, a desk, a nail painting station, etc., which according to many sleep studies is a big no-no. “When we use out bed for other activities, like working, reading, watching TV, etc., we create an association with wakefulness. We want the bed to be a cue for sleep, and working in bed weakens this association,” says sleep medicine therapist Annie Miller. Not only is our quality of sleep being affected, but our productivity plummets when we attempt to work in a space we associate with resting. Its a viscous cycle that keeps us from performing our best on all fronts.

We’ve all heard the stories about keeping electronics out of the bedroom and not watching TV right before bed. Long before blue light studies were mainstream, I figured out that I slept much better when I stopped watching TV in bed. Growing up, I used to fall asleep to movies, and I remember waking up in the middle of the night when the DVD menu was flashing images and playing loud theme music on repeat. Not exactly an environment conducive to optimal sleep health. I am still guilty every now and then of watching a movie from the cozy cocoon of my bed or scrolling tiktok into the wee hours of the morning, but as a general rule, I keep the electronics off or away from the bedroom.

Moving into my own apartment meant I could finally delineate my sleeping space from my living space, offering the opportunity to flex my creative muscles beyond the small footprint of a single bedroom. All those knickknacks I had collected through the years and over the course of my travels were going to see the light of day. All the precious photos of family and friends could now be displayed on a multitude of walls. Our homes showcase what we value, what brings us comfort and what sparks the most joy. It’s a wonderful opportunity to let our personalities shine through.

I’ve discovered quite a lot about my personal style in the last year - furnishing an apartment from nothing but a mattress is basically a crash course in interior decorating. When it came to picking out furniture and choosing décor, I learned that my tastes cover a wide range of aesthetics, from mid-century modern lines and vintage details to western-Americana influences. I guess you could call it eclectic?

My Living Room

Regardless of how you want to label it, decorating my first apartment has been such a fun, ongoing experiment. I get a thrill when I look around the different rooms of my home and see it all coming together, how I can adjust or tweak something to enhance my own comfort and joy. But most of all, I love creating a sacred space where I can relax or gather with those I love most. As much as I’m decorating for myself, I also decorate with guests in mind. I want them to step into my home and feel like they can get comfortable. I also want them to be interested in what they see - inspiring a little envy wouldn't be so bad, would it?

Functionality and beauty do not need to be mutually exclusive. My mother was an interior designer, and I learned early on how the pieces we have in our home can serve a purpose and look pleasing to the eye. A beautiful piece of furniture can elevate the space and still provide organization or storage when we need it. On the flip side, it’s also ok for something to be purely decorative - if it makes you happy to see it every day, then it’s already serving an important purpose. At the end of the day, it’s your space, and as long as it feels like home to you, that’s all that matters.

In summation, I am a big advocate for solo living. It has offered me the chance to experience a new level of independence and discover so much about myself. Living alone, you have the opportunity to become the artist before a blank canvas, transforming a simple space into a curated home. I have learned how to prioritize my wants and needs within my budget. I have endured cockroaches and messy neighbors and a near flooding disaster due to a faulty garbage disposal for the precious freedom of calling a space my own. No living situation is going to be perfect, but sometimes all it takes is a little shift in perspective (or a trip to Homegoods) to help turn a lackluster place into your special haven.