Celebrate Every Milestone

As you get older, the milestone birthdays become few and farther between. In 2024, I turned 30, an age that is commonly regarded as cutting ties with the youthful vigor of the 20s and kickstarting the long slog towards 40, 50, and so on. But I am not here to lament my passing youth - I am genuinely excited for this next chapter of my life, due in part to a maxim I’ve held since 2004: I was going to be “thirty, flirty and thriving”.

Yes, you read that correctly. That is a direct quote from the cinematic masterpiece 13 Going on 30, and it inspired a generation of young girls (or at least, this girl) to reframe their thinking on what it means to get older.

For many of us, our parents had already started having kids, owning their own home and seeming generally settled by the time they turned 30. It was an age synonymous with stability and responsibility. However, this decade got a bit of a facelift in the aughts, ushering a societal shift in how twenty to thirty-year-old women were seen and portrayed on screen. Movies such as How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and The Devil Wears Prada emphasized (and yes, ok, romanticized) the young, independent career woman. She’s fun, she’s driven, she’s enviable.

While the pursuit of love is still a central theme to her story, the main goal for the heroine involves advancement in her career and her own self-discovery. These movies showed that the twenties could be chaotic and fun while still allowing room to be a boss bitch in their professional lives, but they also proved that a woman entering her thirties could remain flirty, thriving and independent in a decade of life often seen as the time to start settling down.

There is no right answer for when it is ‘appropriate’ to have a family or chase that promotion or commit to a steady relationship, because each person is on their own path and has their own goals that deserve their attention. Women will always be fighting an uphill battle against ageism, sexism and unattainable beauty standards, but fearing our thirties is not going to make these problems go away. The best we can do is embrace this next phase of life for all that it has to offer.

As I approached this milestone birthday, I have repeated those words like a mantra - thirty. flirty. thriving. - over and over as a reminder of what I need to manifest in this next decade. The years after high school and college were a tumultuous time filled with firsts and plenty of learning experiences, and I discovered so much about myself in that time. Now, I can enter my thirties more secure in who I have become and ready to take on the challenges and adventures life has to offer.

In order to truly give my 30th birthday it’s due, I decided to throw myself a party. As a September baby, my birthday always fell at the beginning of the school year or volleyball season, leaving the day to pass with little fanfare. After graduating from the grade-school era of themed parties, my moda operandi regarding birthdays tended towards intimate dinners with family and friends. But as the seasons of my 29th year came and went, I realized how much I wanted to kick off my flirty and thriving thirties with a bang. I wanted to give myself permission to be a little extra, to make my day into an event. For a while, the idea of a girl’s trip to Vegas was bandied about and nearly booked before I found myself pressing pause. While Vegas would be a fun destination with plenty of raucous activities and glam nights out, I wasn’t sure it was the vibe I was going for.

So, I began looking closer to home. A reservation at a nice restaurant in Seattle could accommodate my friends in a convenient location but was rather lacking in activities beyond going out to the bars. Everything I was coming up with was missing the “Wow Factor” in some way, shape or form.

One day, I was browsing Pinterest and came across a photo of two women jumping into a lake surrounded by evergreens. A laidback afternoon having fun with friends in the fresh air; it perfectly captured the magic of a PNW summer. I had found the vibe I had been searching for. A weekend getaway to a cabin in my home state of Washington would check all of my boxes - budget friendly in an easily accessible destination with wholesome cabin aesthetics to boot.

As I started planning the itinerary for what would become Camp Ken (an homage to nostalgic summer camp vibes and the 1998 classic The Parent Trap), I came across several opinion pieces on how adults need to stop making a big deal about their birthdays, turning them into extravagant, over-the-top affairs reminiscent of bachelorette parties. In the age of social media, every event faces the added pressure of having to look perfectly curated, to the point where every birthday is celebrated like a Super Sweet Sixteen. I can understand the disillusionment, but in the end, isn’t every birthday worth celebrating, regardless of whether it’s kicking off a new decade or just another ‘filler year’?

Every day should be lived to the fullest, and each turn around the sun given its due. People should be able to celebrate their special day anyway they choose without judgement, and if the time comes when I want to throw myself a huge party for some nondescript age simply for the fact that I have made it X number of years on this earth, then by hell, I’m going to do it. The haters are going to hate anyway, so I might as well enjoy my birthday for all that it’s worth.

And how did my milestone 30th birthday party go, you may ask? If I had to sum it up in one word, it would be: Memorable. While not everything went exactly according to plan (there was a brief intermission when one guest lost a fight with a zipline that ended in six stitches and a concussion), spending the weekend in a picturesque cabin with some of my best friends was the perfect way to ring in a new decade. Camp Ken was brought to life in the most wholesome and beautiful way, with themed decor, game nights by the fire and not one, but two homemade cakes. Boy, do my friends know how to make a girl feel loved.

So, if you are debating whether or not to go all in and celebrate your special day, take this as your sign to go for it. Life is too short not to have your cake(s) and eat it too. And to all my almost-thirty-year-olds out there, if you find yourself feeling a little nervous to enter this next phase of life, remember, it’s all about perspective. Go forth with a healthy appreciation for all the life still has to offer and all the exciting adventures that are yet to come. Don’t look at the next birthday as the end, but as a beautiful beginning. Surround yourself with people who make you feel loved and cherished no matter the number of candles on the cake, and you will find the inherent beauty in a chapter just waiting to be written.